Suppressed Feelings
by BananaFontana
Summary: This is just basically a redone version of my old story Passion and Regret. I tried to do more characterization and add more to the storyline. I hope you enjoy this new version :) I enjoy helpful and honest critiques :)
1. Another Lazy Afternoon

It had all happened so fast.

Like a big blur.

How did we even get here?

It was a clear sunny day as usual on Destiny Islands. School had finally ended and the most noticable trio of friends at Destiny Islands High were walking home on the soft gravel path.

"Ugh, seriously why can't school be like...I don't know 10 min instead of 8 hours?!" Sighed Sora.

"Because Sora, if it was only 10 min you wouldn't learn anyting and you'd still be as dumb as you are now." Replied Riku cooly.

"He-ey! What happeded to best friends?! Geez Riku why can't you just sigh and nod and agree with me for once" Sighed the plucky brunette.

"What? Would you prefer I lie to you?" Riku retorted.

Kairi observed her two best friends and let out a slight giggle as she brushed a peice of her vibrant red hair out of her face.

"Hey guys! Why don't we just row out to the island and relax a little before we head home?"

The two boys just started at eachother for a moment with a competive edge gleaming in both of their eyes.

"The usual?"

"Oh bring it on, Riku!"

The two boys pushed themselves to the limit as they raced down the long path. Sora put all the strength he had into his legs trying to make it to the finish line before his more muscular devolped best friend. But as always Riku beat Sora just by seconds to the boats.

Exhausted from the race the two boys slowly dragged their boats onto the calming waters surrounding the beach at the edge of town and slowly rowed out to the island followed not to distantly by Kairi.

After hours of playing around and Riku and Sora coming up with competition after competition the sun started to set and the three friends let out a long sigh.

"Guys we should definitely do this more often." Kairi observed

The two boys nodded in agreement and slowly let their bodies slink down into the sand. Sora brushed his hand through his chocolate colored spikey hair and glanced at the watch strapped to his wrist. And his clear blue eyes suddenly got wide with panic.

"Oh crap! Guys is that seriously the time?!"

His two friends glanced at their watches and phone to confirm and nodded in agreement. Sora then started stumbling about trying to gather his things as fast as possible and threw them into one of the boats without even bothering to put his shoes back on.

"See ya tomorrow guys! If my Mom doesn't kill me." Sora shouted to his friends while managing to keep the last part quiet enough so they wouldn't hear.

The two remaining friends sat and giggled softly to themselves at the utter goofyness Sora had just displayed. Then nothing but an akward silence remained which was unusual for the two friends. Riku finally built up the courage to break the akward silence at risk that he could make the situation more akward.

"So have you given Sora an answer yet?" Riku asked stone faced

Kairi let out a slight gasp caught majorly off guard by Riku's question. But thought that Riku deserved the right to know as he was one of her best friends.

"Yeah I have." She replied

"And?"

"I said yes." She said as she looked down at the ground

"So what does that mean for you, for him, for us?" Riku asked seriously.

Kairi looked shyly down towards the ground unsure of how to answer Riku's question. She hadn't even thought about it herself. So how could she answer him if she didn't know the answer herself?

"Well...I don't really want anything to change a whole lot. I still want us to have fun together like we did today. Just because Sora and I are dating exclusively now doesn't mean we can't all hang out together!" Kairi insisted.

Riku and Kairi looked into eachothers eyes for a moment and Riku could tell that she was being sincere. He gave her one of his signature smiles and looked away. They both stared into the horizon without saying a word.

"Kairi?" Riku asked seriously

"Yes?"

Riku stumbled trying to find the right words and a way to put his statement. Kairi stared in disbelief as she had never seen Riku so flustered before. He was usually so smooth and comfortable around girls.

"I want you to take what I'm about to say seriously and tell me the absolute truth." Riku let out a deep sigh as he prepared for the plunge.

"What would you have said if I was the one who had confessed and asked you out?"

Kairi felt frozen. Unable to move. What was he doing? Why was he saying this?

Riku then let out a soft laugh and began to shake his head.

"Ya know what. Nevermind. That was stupid just forget I said anything." He said embarrased as he pushed himself up off the soft, sandy ground. Riku then leaned down to Kairi's level looking her directly in the eyes.

"Just because I've always wanted to do this" Riku said as he pulled Kairi's face close to his.

Kairi just sat there frozen, internally panicking at what was happening, at what Riku was about to do. She wanted to move, to run, to talk, to do anything! But she couldn't. She just sat there as she silently watched the events unfold before her very eyes.

Riku's lips were coming closer and closer to Kairi's and she felt them brush against hers almost in a gentle stroke.

Riku pushed himself off the unstable ground and cooly walked away into the red setting sun.


	2. Confessions

_"Just because I've always wanted to do this"_

Kairi brushed her vibrant red hair out of her face and glanced at the clock. 12:00 A.M. This was one of those moments where even if you didn't know she was a red head you could certainly tell by her fiery temper.

"Why would he do something like that?! He knows I'm dating Sora! I thought that he supported it, now he's acting all weird! And he kissed me I mean what was that all about?!" Kairi let out a large grunt as she let all these thoughts swirl around in her head.

At the moment Kairi felt she couldn't do anything. She wished that she had just had the courage to have told him no or to run or anything! And the most horrible part about all of this was that she sort of liked it. It would be so much easier just to hate Riku or to be mad at him. And to a certain degree she was! But there was that part of her that liked it.

She felt a rush when he pulled her in close. His hands cradled her face like a small child. And when he kissed her even though it was soft and brief it was also filled with immense passion. Kairi felt terrible. She cared for Sora deeply. He was her best friend, the one person she could share anything with! She trusted him completely and he trusted her. But if he ever found out about this he would be crushed.

"There's only one thing to do" Kairi thought to herself determindley.

"Confront Riku and make him understand that I'm with Sora and I care for him. And this must never happen again...I hope"

_The Next Day..._

Finally the last bell rang for the day. Kairi slowly pushed herself up from her desk trying to gather up the courage to go tell Riku that what happened yesterday was innapropriate and it can't ever happen again. She just hoped he would take it well.

With a swift movement she flung her backpack over he shoulder and walk straight and uprightly out the door ready to face him.

Riku slowly stood up from his seat and cooly swept his bangs out of his face. A whole group of girls stared at him. He wasn't oblivious and knew that there were plenty of girls at the school, attractive ones, that would go out with him in a second. But he only had eyes for one girl. Kairi. The only girl he ever wanted and could never have.

Riku grabbed his bag quickly and sulked out the door. When out of the corner of his eye he saw a flash of red coming up quickly beside him. He panicked and tried to speed up but surprisingly she was quick and pulled him into a corridor.

"Man, has she been holding back all this time? I didn't even see her coming!" Riku thought silently to himself.

Kairi's crystal blue eyes burned with intensity, almost like an intense blue flame. Kairi took a deep breath in, ready to let loose.

"Riku...Wha-Why did you kiss me yesterday? After you knew that me and Sora are dating exclusively? I thought you would support us! He's your best friend! Did you already know we were dating? Did you just want to hear it from me or what?! Well say something" Kairi blabbed away.

"Well, Kairi. Maybe if you would take a second to even take a breath and let me catch mine I could actually answer you." Riku replied softly.

"Are you ready for this Kairi? Do you really want to know? Cause believe me I've been holding this in for a long time, and if you're not ready to hear it I don't want to waste my time" Riku stated cooly.

Kairi stood there speechless in awe of his complete forwardness. Riku was always blunt and forward, but when it came to expressing his feelings he was more of an introvert. Kairi took one deep breath, ready to listen intently to whatever came out of Riku's mouth.

"Yes, Riku. I'm ready. I want to know. Please just tell me." Kairi responded calmly.

Riku hadn't expected Kairi to respond so calmly considering her violent temper and the words she had been spewing only a few moments ago. He brushed his silky silver hair out of his face ready to reveal everything.

"Well, Kairi let me answer your questions with one of my own. How is it possible that after all these years you couldn't tell that I had feelings for you?" Riku just stared at the red head with intensity burning in his sea green eyes.

Kairi just stared dumbfounded, unable to grasp the concept that perhaps both of her best friends had feelings for her. Unable to realize the choice she would have to make in the near future. The only thing she could do was breath, all her other actions seemed to be paralyzed.

"Riku...I-I..." Kairi just stood there stuttering not even being able to form a cohesive sentance.

Riku just stared at her the intensity building up inside of him as if he were about to burst. And for the first time in his life he shed his protected exterior and opened his mouth to reveal everything.

"Kairi, I thought it was so obvious! From the moment I met you 10 years ago you captivated and intrigued me. I would've done anything for you! Why do you think me and Sora were and are so competitive? It was always about you. And it'll always be about you. Why do you think that I would put myself so close to the darkness? Kairi, It was always you. Its always going to be you."

"You think it was easy when Sora came to me asking my advice on how to confess to you and how to ask you to be exclusive?! Well let me tell you, it was pure hell! I was tortured inside by my feelings for you and loyalty to my best friend! I didn't even know what to say. So in order to try and be the best friend I wanted to be and that I hadn't always been successful at I told him to go for it. No matter how much it was tearing me up inside! Ugh Kairi do you get it now?! I...I love you. I always have." Riku breathed.

Riku just stood there breathless, all his emotional strength had escaped after revealing what he had kept inside for the past 10 years. He wanted to just sink to the floor, but something was pulling him towards Kairi, almost like a magnet. And before he grasped what he was doing in a moment of passion he put his hand behind Kairi's delicate ear and pulled her into an intense, passionate kiss.

Kairi just stood there frozen. Almost like yesterday when he had kissed her, but this time she felt a source of strength welling up inside her. She moved her hands up to Riku's chiseled muscular chest with intentions to push him away. But much to her surprise her body seemed to move on its own and grabbed the collar of his shirt to pull him into an intense, more heated kiss.

Half of her concious mind was telling her that this was wrong and what was she doing? She loved Sora, she knew that. But her mind also concieved that it was possible that she might just love Riku too.


	3. Secrets Kept

Kairi and Riku released eachother from their passionate kiss, and a little drained of strength they braced themselves against the plaster wall.

"Wow. Well that was...something else." Kairi Exhaled.

Riku let out a soft scoff, "Yeah, that's a nice of way of putting it" letting one of his signature grins escape.

Riku then looked intently into Kairi's crystal clear eyes and placed his hand gently behind her head and pulled her close. Their eyes met for a brief moment and embraced eachother with a soft kiss. Thier lips brushed gently against eachother, despite the gentility of the kiss it was filled with passion. Kairi then abruptly pulled away a guilt ridden looked crossed her face.

"Riku...I feel terrible. How can we do this to Sora? I'm his girlfriend you're his best friend. I just...we're just terrible." Kairi sighed.

"Well, I've gotta agree with you there, Kairi. You don't think I feel terrible? Believe me I do. But now that its happened I don't think there's any going back. Tell me, you could've pushed me away but pulled me closer. If you love Sora, my question is, why?" Riku sighed.

Kairi had a perplexed look come across her face as she exhaled. Its not that those thoughts weren't running through her head at that exact moment, she was just confused. She felt that conflicted by her feelings for both Sora and Riku. So conflicted that she felt it impossible at that moment to make a decision.

"Well, honestly Riku I don't even know that myself. I wanted to push you away, to run, but I felt as if my body was moving on its own. That I had no concious control over it. But when you kissed my, I felt a rush of passion, something I'm not sure I've ever felt before. Riku...I-I...I think it might be possible that I might love both you and Sora." Kairi confessed.

Riku then took in everything that Kairi had just confessed, a serene yet conflicted look crossed his face and then he took a deep breathe in.

"Kairi, I know that this is not in my character, and believe me I know its wrong but...maybe to spare Sora's feelings maybe we shouldn't tell him, at least right now. I know him, and this would kill him. His two best friends betraying him?" Riku mused.

Kairi didn't like the idea at all! But she knew that Riku was right, that this would kill him. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to do what Riku suggested.

"Riku, believe me I want to be honest with Sora, with us being exclusive now! But I don't want to put more preassure on him and I don't want to emotionally destroy him. Maybe we should just keep it a secret from him...for the time being." Kairi said.

_Several Months Later_

In the past several months Riku and Kairi had tried to resist their acttraction to eachother but had failed miserably. They had been having secret rendevouz in various places that Sora would never accidentally stumble upon. And as the months progressed Kairi's guilt surmounted greatly, so much that it almost consumed her when she faced Sora day after day.

On one predictably sunny day the three emerged from the school as usual, Sora being unaware of what was going on behind the scenes. The three walked together an akward silence lingered in the sea salt air. Riku walked sulkenly with a preplexed look spread across his face.

"Hey Sora, me and Kairi have a project due for Vexen's class so we have to go to my house so we can get it done so could we just meet you after we get it done?" Riku said cooly.

"Oh sure thing guys! I'll see ya tonight then! Maybe tonight we can go to the mall or something!" Sora replied cheerfully.

"Yeah Sora I'd really like that! So I guess we'll see you tonight." Kairi replied with a slight smile spreading across his face with an undertoe of guilt which Sora could not sense.

"Yeah, bye guys!" Sora exclaimed excitedly whilest flailing his arms.

Riku and Kairi waved and watched in the distance as Sora disappeared down the long winding road. Once he was out of sight Riku put his arm around Kairi's dainty should and pulled her in close as the two walked closely down the road slowly approaching Riku's extravagent house.

The twosome slowley opened the large stained glass door and shut it ever so gently. Even though Kairi had been over to Riku's house countless times she still was awestruck every time she walked in at how beautiful everything in his house was, from the architecture to the extravagent furniture.

"Hey Mom, I'm home!" Riku shouted as his mother came strolling out of the kitchen. His mother was a beautiful woman who looked almost half her age. She was of average height, with a very slender body frame but you could tell she worked out by the definition in her arms and legs. Her young looking face was framed by her long silver hair whilst she had striking aquamarine eyes.

"Welcome home, Riku! Oh and I see Kairi's with you! No Sora today? The three of you usually arent' seen without eachother." She said smiling.

"Well me and Kairi have to do a project for Vexen's class so we're gonna go upstairs to work on it." Riku replied.

Riku's Mom gave them a warm gentle smile. "Well Okay. Just give me a shout if you need anything. Its nice to see you again, Kairi" Riku's Mother smiled.

"Its nice to see you too" Kairi smiled.

As Riku's mother left to return back into the kitchen to prepare dinner, the twosome started up the long winding staircase. Once Riku's mother was out of sight he grabbed Kairi by the hand and lead her to his oceanside bedroom.

Sora walked slowly down the gravel path a little depressed without Riku and Kairi there. He gave out a large sigh and sulked his shoulders.

"Man, we never hang out anymore! I just wish we could just go to the island and hang out like we used to!" Sora exclaimed.

While lost in his thoughts Sora didn't notice the large crack in the middle of the road and tripped his feet nearly flying over his head. He pushed himself up off the ground glancing at his scraped up hands, but noticed that all his stuff had falled out of his school bag.

"Ugh! Why does this always happen to me!" Sora grunted.

As he was gathering his things he glanced to the right and noticed that there lie the english textbook that Riku had let him borrow that day during 3rd period. Sora knew that Riku had a huge test the next day and would be furious if he didn't give it back to him. So with his head sunken he ran toward Riku's house on the north side of the island.

Riku and Kairi slowly opened his bedroom and Kairi let go of his hand to bound towards his balcony that had an amazing view of the island.

"Wow, Riku! You're so lucky! This view is amazing! I'd give anything to have a view like this!" Kairi said dreamily.

Riku walked slowly over to the door leading out to the beautifully architected balcony. He leaned against the door watching Kairi lean herself against the balcony the sea salt air blowing against her face.

"Yeah I guess." Riku mused as he walked out the door to stand beside Kairi. "Ya know I think its one of those things where its right in front of you for so long that you're overlooking what's right in front of you"

Riku took Kairi's hand in his and pulled her close as he removed the jacket she had been wearing and the two kissed sweetly in the blinding light of the destiny islands sun.

Sora approached the massive house out of breath and rang the door bell with vigor and bent over in pain from running the past 2 miles. He looked up as his eyes met with Riku's mothers warm smiling face.

"Sora, what are you doing here?" She asked sweetly.

"Well, on my way home I realized I had Riku's English book and he has a test tomorrow so I wanted to come and give it to him." Sora said smiling.

"Oh that's so sweet of you Sora! If you want you could go upstairs and give it to him and just say hi. I know you guys don't hang out as much." She said warmly as she pointed upstairs.

Sora nodded his head and bounded up the long winding stair case and ran down to the hall to Riku's room and energetically burst open the door. But he was not prepared for the scene which he would stumble upon.


	4. A Choice

Kairi felt Riku pull her closer into his warm embrace. Thier kisses became more passionate as he put his large hands around her tiny waist.

_Thud._

The two broke apart in a split second after being interrupted by a soft thud echoing from the corner of the room. Kairi's face turned from pure delight to immense horror in a matter of seconds. Riku met her eyes puzzeled as he turned slowly around to discover what had her frozen and stiff.

Sora just stood there gaping at the sight that his eyes had stumbled upon unsuspectingly. His best friend caught in a passionate kiss with Kairi, his current girlfriend and other best friend. Riku was holding Kairi in his toned arms while she had her arms draped around his neck and as she met Sora's nautical eyes a look of horror and guilt spread across her face.

Sora slowly backed out the door and turned to run down the long winding staircase nearly knocking Riku's Mom, who had come to check on them, over in an attempt to head for the front door to escape the painful scene.

"Riku, what is going on?! Riku's Mother scolded.

"It's nothing Mom. I'm dealing with it." Riku protested as he rushed down the stairs grabbing the ornate handle on the front door to try and chase Sora down and try to settle everything.

Even though Sora was no match for Riku physically, having a broken heart can make you do unspeakable things. At this point Sora was just about capable of anything, and Riku knew that.

Riku spotted Sora from behind his spikes blowing in the light breeze, trying to make an escape. Riku darted after him and grabbed him by the shoulder, then-

_BAM!_

Riku felt Sora's knuckle come sweeping across his chin, he felt this warm liquid come trickling down his chin. Riku put his hand up to slowly wipe the blood away as he foresaw another blow coming and he stopped Sora's hand in the nick of time. He used more strength than he usually would have to block Sora's punch and push him backwards. Sora started stumbling backwards then moments later regained his posture as he came running towards his best friend at full speed.

"How. Could. You. Do. This. To. Me. Riku?!" Sora managed to breathe between punches.

"Sora, if you would just stop punching me and listen for a sec instead of jumping to conclusions, maybe you could actually hear the whole story!" Riku gasped.

Suddenly the pitter patter of dainty footsteps came sounding from behind them and Sora felt the soft small arms come and grab Sora from behind.

"Sora, please just listen!" Kairi pleaded as tears rushed down her face .

Sora didn't want to but Kairi's voice was so pitiable that Sora softened and just collapsed on the soft green grass in front of Riku's elegant house, listening to the long tale of dishonesty, betrayl, and mistrust that had been occuring over the past 6 months.

Sora took and deep breath in as he brushed his slender fingers through his chocolate spikes trying to absorb all that his two friends had been telling him. The rage that had been consuming him for the past hour had dimmed and turned to sadness and feelings of betrayl.

"Sora, I never wanted to hurt you. I was just so confused, I still am!" Kairi confessed.

Sora took a deep breath in as he prepared to ask the all inevitable question that could end up making the whole inside his heart grow bigger.

"Do you love him?" Sora asked bluntly.

Kairi let out a gastp and an awestruck look came across Kairi's face, its not as if she hadn't thought about this question night after night ever since that first fateful kiss. But the fact that Sora was asking her straight out caught her off guard.

"I-I don't know, Sora. I just-I might. But I love you too Sora!" Kairi exclaimed.

Sora's face exhuberated disappointment. That was definitely not what he wanted to hear. He slowly pushed himself up off the ground.

"Well, Kairi. Until you figure out your feelings. Come and find me. That's if I still want to talk to you. Have fun with Riku." Sora said with such anger and venom.

"Sora, I-" Kairi tried to get out.

" Kairi, I'm sorry I can't talk to either one of you right now. Honestly its just too painful to even look at either one of your faces right now. When and If I want to talk I'll come find you guys." Sora interrupted.

With a quick turn Sora walked away into the distance, his head hung low. Kairi felt her body go limp and lost all feeling as her body sunk to the ground. All the emotions she had been holding in the past months started to errupt and the tears started to flow down her face. When her eyes started to clear she glanced up to see that Riku had balled his hands into a fist.

"Riku...Why are you so angry?" Kairi asked concerned.

"Well Kairi, I'm not angry at anyone but myself. I was the one who kissed you, multiple times. But even after that we should've stopped. Honestly its both of our faults that our best friend is hurting so much. What were we thinking? Why did we think we could go through with this with all parties unscathed?" Riku replied.

"I don't know. Maybe we wanted something that felt like a dream, yet it was real. I don't even know. It could be that we felt something with eachother that we didn't feel with anyone else. Then again maybe we never gave anyone else a chance." Kairi said solemnly.

Riku just stared into the distance, deep in thought as Kairi stayed on the ground in the fetal position awaiting Riku's response. Riku suddenly loosened his fists and turned his body towards Kairi.

"Kairi, the way I see it there's only one option. You have to make a choice! We can't keep playing these games. We can't keep messing with our best friends heart. Its not right! I don't care who you choose,I just want you for once and for all to make a choice and stick to it!" Riku said seriously.

Kairi was a little ataken back by Riku's bold statement, to be completely honest she was terrified. Kairi's personality was more along the lines of a pleaser and wanting to make everyone happpy. But this choice wasn't going to be easy. Someone was going to get hurt no matter what choice she made. The situation was so overwhelming she just couldn't think straight. She mustered all the strength she could managed and walked down the hill into the sunset, leaving Riku in the distance behind her. There was only one place she could go the think clearly. The Island.


End file.
